It’s been a minute since I posted anything here. I wasn’t trying to be neglectful. I was just hurt for a long time. Hurt mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, that I couldn’t find it in myself to move on. At the end of February I lost my job partially because of the coronavirus but mostly due to incompetence. And living in Japan it’s such a grey line being jobless and living in fear of deportation. Adjusting to life in Tokyo had been a wild ride, that I wasn’t really expecting at all. I was always busy with work or school and didn’t have time to dedicate to my crafts, and I just kept spiraling further into a deep depression.
2020 has been crazy so far. I don’t think it’s going the way anybody expected. Jobs were lost, schools were closed, and there’s a whole group of people currently trying to survive while being quarantined in another country.
Last month I took part in the Black Lives Matter Rally here in Tokyo. And it ignited something in me. It reminded me of the time I used to help run and organize rallies and the adrenaline those movements gave me. Then I started digging deeper a bit more and seeing all the phenomenal people in the international community in Japan out here doing something and making a difference. And I started to think to myself, why can’t I do that? Why can’t I be the one out here making a change?
I’m not one to use social media but after taking up this new internship at Metropolis Magazine and gave me more time to think and plan. I had to do more research on people via social media and it made me long for girlfriends. It wasn’t just about making friends but more so accomplishing things with friends. Starting movements, businesses, or other endeavors. And I started to feel like I was missing out because I didn’t have anything to contribute. I didn’t know what my superpower was. I’m not phenomenal at anything in particular and I feel like I didn’t think about these things until recently.
The rest of 2020 is going to be dedicated to finding my super power. I want to feel as if I can have a seat at a table with other smart, successful women and still feel as if my opinion matters. Just like all the other black lives I fight for, my life matters too. My thoughts matter, my experience matters, my history matters. I just have to find a way to harness that power.
What about you, do you know what your superpower is?